1. Charley’s Steakhouse: This is a bit pricier than most
       restaurants,  but it is a memorable steak. Not only that, there
       are corners which allow a nuanced intimacy. The only drawback
       was the waitress who felt more like a timeshare saleswoman
       pitching to the only male at the table. The wine was full bodied
       and tasty, the steak impeccable, and the fried mushrooms beyond
       compare. I highly recommend this to anyone for a Valentine’s Day
       excursion or high school graduation.
2. Stonewood Steakhouse: Please do yourself a favor and make a trip
       to this fantastic restaurant in Dr. Phillips. It is a nice,
       refreshing break from the typical tourist scene.  The
       atmosphere, cuisine, and wait staff aim to please and do not
       miss the mark.  The filet is delectable and the vegetables are well-rounded and the chocolate   bread pudding is orgasmic.
    3. Saffran: This is a new, inexpensive, European-style eatery near
       the Florida Mall. I highly recommend its cool and chill
       atmosphere, wait staff, and house wine. The restaurant has an
       Icelandic owner, middle eastern cuisine, and delicious, and,
       yet, somehow healthy desserts. I’m drooling just typing about
       the “burger” I had there, which was more like falafel heaven.
    4. Sushiology: Hands down, the best sushi I’ve had in Orlando.
       Prepare yourself for an edgy and funky Japanese atmosphere and
       the option of unique plum wines and sakes. The fish is fresh and
       tasty and I recommend the gigabyte for your big appetite.
    5. Raglan Road: This spot is located at Downtown Disney which is a
       touristy area,but this is worth the visit. I particularly
       enjoyed the Irish dancing they offer as entertainment during the
       meal. Children can join in with the dancers as well. It’s always
       a joy to watch children attempt something new for the first
       time. Enjoy the pork chops with apple sauce and a variety of
       mixed drinks,or perhaps a glass of wine.
 
 Happy Eating,
 
 Womankind

_­­

All the ladies, Christian and not are aflutter with praises for you. Despite popular belief, a man who is not easy to obtain is as attractive for us as men who want an untouched woman.  The reason being, we are interested in a challenge.  Allow me to make my case personally like the judges on The Voice when they all choose the same singer.

I’m educated and have my master’s degree from New York University if you care for intelligence in a woman. I enjoy reading, swimming, writing letters to famous people on my blog, singing karaoke, and making sarcastic comments whenever possible.

Also, I enjoy politics and discussing how we as a nation might work on social issues in a pragmatic and applicable manner. My mom read your book and told me you might be going into politics. This would be an ideal friendship in my opinion because I’m not afraid to express my opinions. Some men are opposed to that and others are not.

 Finally, I hope you understand the value and importance of being a man of integrity among so many who have none. Haters will always be there but that simply means that you are doing your job. My father and brother went to University of Florida so I know well the pride associated with being a Gator. I created a divided house pursuing criminology at Florida State. I also dated a player there. Don’t hold it against me. Continue the work you have been called to do. If you come across this let me know.

 Sincerely and Respectfully,

 Womankind

Dear Spa Castle,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the joys you provide to any individual who passes your threshold…allow me to name the ways…

1. Pools varying in temperature from 75 degrees all the way until 100 degrees of blissful aquifer embodiment.

2. Saunas from 45 degrees all the way until 175 to dry off in after enjoying the amazing water.

3. Pools complete with strong jets, soft jets, and everything in between with a bestie’s convo makes life worth living especially with a $35 cover from 6am til 12 am.

4. Enjoyment of your saunas of the variety of jade, salt, and wood variety.

5. Love of the game including the availability of Starbucks, fruits, and smoothies…

Love Always and Forever,

Womankind

You are perhaps my favorite holiday second only to Christmas. Growing up I recall going to my grandparents home in Savannah, GA and sitting around the kid’s table feasting. It was always the time everyone in my family got together around one table to share a meal and to give thanks to God for each other and for the gifts in our lives.

Recently, my Mom and I have begun a new tradition in which she comes to visit me in New York City from Orlando. It’s an excuse for her to take a much needed vacation and for me to be able to do the things that I would never do without visitors. This year she brought my eldest brother Joe and we all had an amazing time.

 Here are some things I truly enjoyed about NYC during their visit:

 1. Staying in a hotel in Astoria with a complimentary breakfast everyday and cookies at night. The breakfast had homemade waffles, Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches, and all the coffee you could handle.

 2. Television, I don’t have one at my apartment so I got to catch up on old Friends episodes and actually enjoy some of the beauty that is HBO movies.

 3. Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade-This is something I never would have attended on my own but Joe said it was a childhood dream of his to go so we did.  He feigned innocence when he started chatting with me at 4:30 am and I said let’s go. It was a lot of fun and I recommend everyone try it at least once.

4. Anything Goes-It was an amazing Broadway experience complete with fantastic tap dancing and musical numbers. It’s a great show to catch with the family because it is clean and has something for everyone.

5. Eating out at amazing places like Vesta and Pachanga Patterson and not getting water to drink. It’s wonderful to be able to try the apple cider with Rum at Pachanga Patterson and actually experience desserts at these great restaurants in Astoria.

So, Thanksgiving, I should really thank you for giving me a lovely staycation with my family.

Sincerely and til next year,

Womankind

Apparently you are Enemy numero uno according to Occupy Wall street and the 99% of which I am proud to be one. Tomorrow many will gather around the five boroughs to stand united against you and your henchmen. I, for one, believe this movement is the beginning of true change in this country. Change has been used as a campaign slogan but during the civil rights movement people were willing to suffer for what they believed to be inalienable rights.

Let me tell you something about something, people are sick and tired of being treated like garbage so that you can benefit off of their sweat and hard work. We are tired of seeing the marginalized mistreated due to race, class. or religion. We are tired of being taken advantage of so that your bank accounts and executives can grow fatter and manipulate lobbyists and politicians.

I hope and pray that a group of soldiers of social change will arise out of this movement. A group of Americans united around hope in this country and its Constitution. People who believe that education, health, and freedom are inalienable rights of American citizenship.

You’re on your way out because we’re tired of your nasty selfishness,
Womankind (and Mankind)

You may only be nine years old but you are full of wisdom and knowledge well beyond your years. By learning astronomy with you, you teach me patience and focus.  One afternoon with you brings back a flood of positive memories of my own childhood including but not limited to:

1. The simple joys in life including barking like a dog at creepy guys on the street

2. How much fun chalk can be and how freeing it is to not have to draw perfectly

3. Gymnastics at the playground…complete with cartwheels and flips on the bars

4. Relishing every morsel of a meal without concern of eating properly

5. Candy…specifically tootsie rolls and tootsie roll pops

6. Laughing til you almost pee yourself over something silly

7. Climbing all over me like a monkey…(except I used to be the monkey climbing;) )

8. Love of textbooks

9. Freedom to have a quirky sense of style and not conform to trends

10. Playing teacher

Let’s play again soon and always listen to your mother. She’s a wise lady.

Lovingly,

Womankind

You will be amazed and surprised to hear that chivalry is a quality which is not dead. I witnessed this first hand today when a dear friend of mine surprised me with lunch at an amazing little eatery in Astoria named Pachanga Patterson.

Five qualities of my friend which I would recommend that all men aspire to are as follows:

1. Surprising a lady with food…always a good idea…women like food as much as men even though the super models wouldn’t have you believe that.

2. Providing intellectually stimulating conversation…

3. Providing something nice to look at…never hurts to dress the part…my friend was wearing a sweet navy jacket with a red sweater and khaki pants…

4. Making a point to get the waiter’s attention and treating the wait staff with respect and decency

5. Ordering dessert…it shows that you’re not cheap and that you are enjoying the meal…it’s also just simply delicious…

I advise all men to go ahead and follow these steps in order to treat a woman with decency and respect.

Fondly,

Womankind

Apparently you have no concept of personal space or the rules of social engagement. Let me provide you with a list of dos and don’ts when approaching someone of the opposite gender:

Don’ts:

1. Do not get touchy feely within 2 minutes of meeting someone new.  This includes but is not limited to rubbing someone’s back, arm, or leg…

2. If someone stops making eye contact with you for extended periods of time that is usually a polite way of indicating they’re done talking to you…don’t continue talking to them at this point

3. Do not talk incessantly about yourself, your dog, your family..etc without asking questions of the other party

4. Do not breathe heavily on the other person…if you see their hair blowing from your breath that is usually a hint that you are too close for comfort

5. Do not ignore body language…when someone crosses their arms firmly across their chest and shrinks further and further away from you…they don’t want to be too close to you.

Do:

1. Offer to buy her a drink

2. Ask her a lot of questions about herself in an effort to genuinely get to know more about her

3. Engage her roommate in conversation for a more friendly and open conversation

4. Tip the bartender well…he’s probably an aspiring actor and slightly impoverished

5. Buy her a second drink if she hasn’t run away yet

Without Reservation,

Womankind

I have to say that until this year I have not been able to say that I have attended  both of your festivities. I, unfortunately, am not a Jew, but anyone can tell you that I love all things Jewish. On that note I will make a top five for both parties.

Hanukkah:

1. Dreidel spinning is much more exciting than you would expect a piece of plastic to be.  The penny collecting is not bad either except when you get “nun” and get nothing while a more seasoned player continues to collect the pot.

2. Grape juice in wine glasses can serve as a tasty alternative to the Passover prescribed manischewitz (to my Jewish friends, please forgive any misspelling).

3. The game most worth winning is calling the last Hanukkah candle to go out. That is because I won that game most exactly.

4. Sitting around with a bunch of theater kids with varying levels of Judaism makes it truly feel like a family gathering. It feels like a family away from family.

5. The story telling is by far the best part of a Hanukkah party…feeling connected to what happened so many years ago and how it serves us today. There was something magical about lighting the candles after hearing how the oil lasted. What are we without traditions and memories?

Now on to beloved Christmas:

1. Standing around a group of drunken doctors who shall remain nameless really keeps one’s spirits up. Mostly because they are great at making fools of themselves and entertaining you with stories of how your mother is in love with them.

2. The food spread…pigs in blankets, beef, chicken, spinach dip, a delectable assortment of desserts.

3. Not drinking but rather having a seltzer with lime and enjoying all of the action that comes your way.

4. Catching up with people you haven’t seen since summer but who are just great to hang out with…mostly said drunken doctors…

5. Seeing people’s faces light up with spirit and joy at some ridiculous story or joke. Being able to stand around and let hours pass without ever watching television.

So it is with love and warm thoughts that I think of you Hanukkah (my first! and definitely not my last!) and Christmas parties.

Fondly,

Womankind

Why are you so smug, dastardly attractive, and way too well dressed for a waiter?

You must be one of the waiters in the west village who thinks you deserve something for being beautiful and fabulous.

Well, let me tell you something when you asked me if I was ordering something in a rude and nasty tone you made me feel like I was the scum of the earth for sharing a meal with my friend to save money.

Let’s get real…times are tough these days and people gotta save so why don’t you try being nice to get a nice tip instead of being a jackass about me not ordering a separate meal.

Maybe that’s why you have been  unable to get a part.

You’re just too “fabulous” to cast…well, apparently, I’m not fabulous enough to sit at your fancy table.

Next time just get me another waiter thank you,

Womankind